I presume you're on your way to work now or something as you're reading this. (Dont worry, this is not a breakup post or anything LOLOL) I just feel very bad for going all bitch-mode on you just now.....
I know I'm not someone with the best temper ever and I do have quite a few bitchy moments which can come at any point in time. And this is especially so at night when you spring it on me all of a sudden that you're going off to meet a friend in the middle of the night to talk about his heart-burning issues or just to lepak 'cos you haven't seen him in a while.
The reason for all these bitchy moments is prolly 'cos I've no nightlife if you haven't noticed. As much as how often you tell me I'm very ahlian or that I'm quite "wild", I'm pretty sure deep down in you, you know I'm nothing like that. And so, apart from spending my nights watching shows on my laptop or chatting with you via whatsapp, I basically have nothing to do. The wildest thing I ever do is just to go out for a drink with my friends. And even with that, the latest I reach home is about 1ish-2? And so, when you go off to meet your friends at night, I'm just at a loss about what to do with my life 'cos I don't really have much to do to get through the time till you return from meeting your friends.... Don't get me wrong. I know fully 100% well that your life doesn't just revolves around me. You've a social life and other commitments to upkeep. Like I said, how I wish I had no restrictions and curfews so I can also be like your friends and meet you in the middle of the night as and when I want to.
And it's probably 'cos of this, that I never really had the opportunity or chance to leave my house in the wee hours of the night just to meet up with a friend. And so, I don't understand why you'd so either.... Just 'cos i dont do it. But after seeing you do this a couple of times now, I realized that this is actually how your life is and this is how you maintain your friendships with your friends which is just a different method than how I do so with my own friends. This is how you've lived before you met me and this is how you'll continue living and I've no right to change that just 'cos i'm tgt with you now or, change any part of you, as a matter of fact. 'Cos if I love you, I'd love every thing about you, whether or not I understand it.
So yes, after our sorta "fight" just now, I had this epiphany. And I'm truly sorry if I was being mean and bitchy and made you not meet up with your friend. If it wasn't that you had to work tmr, I prolly wouldn't have thrown such a big fit. I'm really sorry, my dear.....
I promise that after tonight, I'll not be so bitchy/controlling about you wandering off to meet your friends at night. As long as you don't have to get up early the next day. *pinky promise* Not only will I stop being bitchy/controlling just about this matter but everything else. (Well, except for your smoking. I think that can be an exception.) I hope this doesn't change the way you think/feel about me...... I stand by every word I said just now that I'd rather you told me you were going off to meet your friend and we had this "fight" than you meeting him behind my back while pretending to be asleep..... It just eats into my conscience knowing that instead of fighting back with me, you kinda listened to me and went back home just to pacify the bitchy and childish me.
I know I'm definitely not the perfect girlf for you and that there's a lot to my personality that needs to be changed for the better. Well, I'll definitely start doing so just to be a better person for you.
And I just want you to know..... That I was never truly mad at you 'cos like you told me many months ago, "you can never get mad at the people you love."
So yes, iloveyou, my dear and I'm truly and deeply sorry~~~~
❤❤
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